Bliss is enough. That's what she told me. I was frustrated because I have been working hard to go deeper in breathwork for a while. The first few times I did breathwork not much happened. I felt like my lungs weren't strong enough to breathe deeply for over an hour. I felt like my mind was always wondering. I felt annoyed. Which means I knew that this was the portal to expansion.
I could have easily given up on breathwork and said that it wasn't for me because I wasn't naturally excelling at it. But I doubled down instead. I started doing breathwork for 5 minutes a day to build strength. I meditated daily as well to calm my mind. I studied how breathwork worked so I would know how to do it "right". I thought I was ready. Then, the first day in Costa Rica at the retreat with Layla Martin we did breathwork. I was nervous, but excited. And I got to breathing. After an hour and a half I felt great. My mind was calm, my body was relaxed, my emotions had moved through me, I felt blissful. But everyone else was talking about how transformational their journeys were! I was utterly frustrated again!
I thought I had done everything by the book! I'm a freaking Tantra Teacher! I needed to get this down. It bothered me so much that in the next Q&A session I just asked, WTF am I doing wrong? Marina, a senior teacher in the program, said exactly what I needed to hear. She asked "what's the experience you want to have?". I thought for a moment and said "well, that there's some kind of experience I'm supposed to be having". She responded, "and you say you felt utter bliss?". "Yeah!" I squirmed. "Can bliss be enough?" she stated. It hit me then that I was trying so hard to control the experience. Yes, I had done everything I needed to do, but after that I had to let go. I wrote in big letters in my journal - BLISS IS ENOUGH.
This was exactly what I needed to synthesize in order to let go and fully surrender. If I could just breathe for an hour and feel bliss, damn that would be pretty awesome! The bliss was incredible. I bet there are people who would pay big money out there to feel the bliss I was tossing in the trash. So, I stopped controlling the outcome in my next session. I dropped in deeper than ever! I had visuals, intense sensations over my whole body, I was cemented to the ground by the end. When I got up, I felt a peace and bliss that was better than any drug I had ever done. I laughed hysterically, then cried uncontrollably. I could feel every inch of my body deeply. Bliss was absolutely enough!
Every day for 7 days we did different breathworks. All open mouth connected breath, as in not pausing between the inhales and exhales. And we were free to move how we wanted. A lot of traditional breathwork is done laying down or sitting up straight. Neo-Tantra breathwork is different. If we want to liberate the emotions and energy that is stuck in the body then the body needs to move. You're putting a ceiling on your healing if you don't move. Sure, you can achieve other things in breathwork by just being still, but if your goal is to heal and transform then you'll have to move! So, we moved! However the body intuitively wanted to move we did it. Shaking, screaming, rolling around, jumping, stomping, swaying, anything!
After about 30 minutes of this high intensity breath, movement, and sound we layed down and continued to breathe as our partner touched us in certain ways. For heart opening they did a breast massage. For womb opening they did a lower belly massage and pressure points between the pubic bone and belly button. It was revolutionary and consensual. There was always a lot of time before we started to ask for exactly what we wanted and put up any boundaries we needed to. Safety was the number one concern during the whole process. Only when you can feel safe can you really heal.
I was liberated in these sessions. Transformation on every breath. I'm blown away by what I saw and what I experienced. And this was just a piece of the retreat! Plus, I got to learn how to hold space for my partner in each breathwork. This is what I want to bring back the most from Costa Rica! I am planning a new workshop experience unlike any other one I offer. 1-1 facilitated breathwork. I am forever changed by this experience, and I want to share it with the world! Keep an eye out for this amazing new portal soon.
INSPIRED ACTION: Would bliss be enough for you?