Burn Me Down Again: Burning Man 2025

As I walked into our communal structure, the entire back wall was lifting off the ground. I yelled for help, and 8 dudes joined me in the epic dust storm. We started searching for a hammer, something our camp has at least 6 of, but we couldn't see our hands in front of our faces. We all just started feeling around. It took at least 10 minutes to find one, but then we needed a new stake. I got lost walking the 25 feet to find it. This was opening night of Burning Man 2025.

I had already been there for 3 days helping build our camp, Naked Heart. And our gift to the playa is workshops. Like a lot of them. About 25 workshops a day for 8 days straight. From what I can tell the most workshops at the Burn. And we were about 90% done building camp, and ready to get the week started. The Burn officially opened at midnight that night. And it was maybe 8pm. It hit with almost no warning, and we went from clear day to a whiteout dust storm that we now know to be one of the harshest storms to hit Burning Man. 50+mph gusts which kicks up the literal dust and makes it impossible to see, to breathe, to stand in.

But I came prepared. Dust mask (although I could've splurged for the nicer one), dust goggles, and a crew of people who literally live for this shit! I live for this shit. So, me and a group of dudes fought to keep the structures we could alive. Our giant shade structure (like 50 feet wide) ripped at the seams and was trying to take out 3 other structures. We all grabbed a slice and started rolling. David Braun (who I co-lead the camp with) grabbed a knife and cut it down while we caught it. We managed to save one of the structures, our ceremonial tipi space. Two others were destroyed, one by the shade structure, and the other (our Sex-a-yurt) just blew away with nothing left but the door.

As we were wrangling the giant shade structure I remember looking around as the dust cleared briefly so we could see each other. The looks of determination, focus, and ecstasy will stay with me forever. Yes, camp was falling apart, and we didn't think of it at the time but Burning Man itself was falling apart. But we were living on the edge of existence and laughing in the face of her fury. It's my favorite memory from this Burn.

You see, it's not a party in the desert. We build a fully functioning city in one of the harshest, most unforgiving landscapes on Earth. And it's built on gifting. Your ticket in just gets you roads and portos, that's it. The rest is a gift from people attending. All the epic art, all the workshops, all the tea houses, all the bars, all the experiences are gifts from people attending. That's the beauty of this space.

So, after the wind licked our asses clean, we woke up the next day, surveyed the damage, and got to rebuilding. One of our domes had flipped over into one of the other domes, and they both needed to be deconstructed, bent back into shape, and reassembled. We had an industrial sewing machine, and attempted to sew the shade structure back together. David Braun had a backup shade structure over the domes we had to put up. And we found the Sex-a-yurt, which had completely destroyed a nearby camp. Luckily no one was hurt, but we felt pretty bad!

As we were putting on the final touches, the rain began. And in this environment, which is an ancient lakebed, the dust turns to clay-like mud real quick. It's so hard to walk in, and nothing can move in it. And our work to rebuild camp was choked again. We all (about 200 people at this point) huddled in the giant structure that is our communal tent, but the water started to soak the edges.

We spent the next day trying to rebuild what we could, but we were tired! We scrubbed the mud from the mats, and tried to dry out some of the rugs. Another storm was set to hit us that night, but I had a feeling of something. I wanted to go out. So, while it was raining, I went to my friend who goes by Believe out there, and I told him I wanted to go out. He told me I was crazy, but I said I had a feeling that we are good. I don't know where this came from, just felt it.

I knew that if we went out, and the rain didn't stop soon, that we would not only be stuck, but that our bikes would be stranded somewhere and we would have to rely on others to survive. I grabbed him by the shoulders and said "I need to go out and I want you to come with". He couldn't resist. So, against both of our better judgements, we rode! And as soon as we got out of the city and into the open playa, the rain suddenly stopped!

This night felt like the stolen night, like the night we weren't supposed to get. Everywhere we went we just couldn't believe we were there. We climbed art, we danced, we laughed. It was an incredible time, and I think we really cemented our friendship there. We hoped that the rain would end, but she is a wily mistress.

The next day we half-heartedly rebuilt AGAIN, but it seems this year that we weren't meant to fully build camp. They're calling this year the Rebuild Burn. Haha! We cleaned more than rebuilt. Some things just never got complete, and we were ok with that. And then the rain hit again. But a little rain doesn't stop burners.

There was supposed to be an incredible Goddess Temple that night in camp, followed by a kinky dungeon night. And so much work went into these things that we didn't want them to go to waste. So, they became offerings that were just for Naked Heart. In the corners of the large shared space with the rain pelting the roof all night, we held these events (although the dungeon became sensual instead of sexual since we were sharing the space).

As I looked around at all the amazing people who were fully present, loving the experience, and connecting to others, I fell in love again with this camp. Truly some of the most amazing people were there with us. At Burning Man you either surrender and change or you get upset. Sure, it was different, but that's precisely what made it so much more special. No amount of planning could have made it better. We were stuck together and instead of complaining, we created. Burners are a different breed.

So, finally it was Wednesday of the Burn, and today was supposed to be the day Layla Martin (my teacher), was going to teach at our camp. I had assisted her last year, and that was a wild time, and I was planning to assist her again. About 200 women showed up to take Heartgasm with her, and 30 minutes after it was supposed to begin the rain had started again and no Layla. My friend and fellow VITA coach, Precious, was prepared to teach in her stead. Maybe she had gotten stuck in the rain? Maybe she couldn't get in (the line to enter was up to 22 hours at one point)? Maybe she was lost?

And then she finally rode up walking her bike, it had gotten stuck in the rain! And I got to assist her in an incredible workshop again! She even remembered me! And I got to self-pleasure naked in front of a room full of women looking up to me for direction. I honestly love being a bigger girl doing this kind of stuff (all the other assistants were tiny as usual), because I get to give all of them permission to go there. When I'm howling in pleasure and massaging my breasts and surrendering, it lets all of them surrender too. Many people came up to me after and were like whoa, that was amazing for you to do that!

And the rain stopped while we were in the workshop! It never started again the entire rest of the Burn. A luminous, rapturing sunset blessed us that evening, and I knew that we were clear! Layla was leading another workshop that night at a different camp and a group of us assistants went to that as well. We assisted her Sex Magick ritual which she taught with her partner Baback Oman, and friend Emily Fletcher. And after the ritual we got to dance on the exclusive stage with them! I felt so cool and got to meet Mia Magik, too!

Then I could regale you with tales of the next nights, and how we partied until sunrise, we had epic connections, synchronicity enlightened us, and we danced our asses of to some actually amazing music (sorry Burn, but your music kinda sucks for the most part). But honestly, the best parts of the Burn happened in the difficult moments, in the reclaimed time, in the laughter as we fought the storm. The rest was just usual Burn stuff, which is like literally the reason I go, but this time it was different. This time I felt something new.

I may think that I go to Burning Man for the all-nighters, for the quirky experiments, for the tea houses in the dust. But I think that I go to test myself. Life in my beautiful house is pretty easy. Sure, I work hard in my business, but there's not an element of survival here. At Burning Man I learn to survive and surrender. I feel small there. I feel like a speck of dust blowing in the wind knowing I'll be caught by the people there. And knowing that I'll catch others.

There's nothing like it. And I'll be there again next year, even with how tough it was this year.

One of the hardest parts was flying directly to Denver after the Burn and having to do 4 days of epic masterminding and a feminine business conference with Shoshanna Raven (my business coach) after. But that's a whole other story!

INSPRED ACTION: I'll leave you with this. What if you could escape to another world? One that is built on a different system altogether. One that is not meant to be easy, but is meant to transform you. One that I couldn't guarantee anything. But anything is possible. I call it 360 degrees of possibility because you can choose any direction and follow your heart. Where the currency is gifts, and the everything is free. Would you dare to take a chance? Or would you stay safe and risk nothing? The choice is always yours when it comes to Burning Man. And this is of course a metaphor to how you live your life here in the default world.