How to Not Get Pregnant and Not Take Hormonal Birth Control

I don't take any form of birth control, my partner almost never uses condoms, and we've never had a pregnancy scare. I don't have an IUD. I don't take any pills. I don't get any shots. I use a natural method for birth control that, when used correctly, has a 99% effective rate. And I realized a lot of people don't know how to use this method correctly! So, here's how to not get pregnant (if you don't want to) and stay away from all hormonal interventions.

Please note I am not a medical professional or expert. This content is educational only and not medical advice. I am not liable for how it is used. Please consult a licensed provider for personal medical decisions. I also want to mention that in states where abortion has become very difficult, it may not be as advisable to use this method without full knowledge of its use.

When I turned 30, I felt something change in me. I was usually a very sexual person, wet whenever I wanted to be, and ready to go. Suddenly, I noticed that I was not as interested in sex, dry more often than not, and my mood felt different. This was extremely alarming for me and I didn't want to continue on this path. I knew that 30 didn't mean I was doomed to a low libido.

So, I did some research. And I realized that being on hormonal birth control for 14 years was what was taking a toll on my system. When I was 16 I was so blessed to be able to get on the pill. I was definitely irresponsible, and didn't want to take any chances on pregnancy. I'm honestly super grateful for the pill back then, but I was never told the effect it had on my body. I was never given any type of warning of what it would do to my natural cycle. I think I still would've gotten on it back then, but I would've gotten off it much sooner if I understood what it did to my cycle.

I learned that any form of hormonal birth control (the pill, the patch, the ring, most IUD's, shots, etc.) suppresses your ovulation completely. This means that your body never gets the signal to release an egg, so it never ovulates. It also means you don't have a real menstruation. Without the hormonal queues to ovulate, the uterine lining never thickens like it would for menstruation. The only reason you start to bleed is because of the drop in hormones, so they call it a withdrawal bleed. This bleed is unnecessary but sometimes reassuring to people. It reassured me for years that I had a normal cycle.

One exception to birth control interventions is the non-hormonal copper IUD. This one works by being toxic to sperm, creating an inflammatory response in the uterus that makes implantation difficult, and thinning the uterine lining. All these together make fertilization difficult, and implantation of that fertilized egg very difficult. However, it also has drawbacks. The inflammation it creates in the uterus long term can be detrimental to uterus health. And there is a risk for implantation of the IUD in the uterus. This actually happened to me and I had to have my IUD emergency removed. The risk of scar tissue in the uterus is still a concern of mine for future pregnancies.

Synthetic hormones keep you at a near constant hormonal cycle. So, the body stops cycling naturally. This didn't sit well with me. I wanted to be connected to my body's natural rhythms. I wanted to feel my ovulation again, which I realized I hadn't felt in 14 years! And I wanted my cervical mucus to return to its natural state as well. I wanted my sex drive, my wetness, and my connection to my cycle back!

So, I quit hormonal birth control right there. Luckily, I was only having sex with pussy at the time. But I was searching for a male partner, so I knew that I needed to figure out how to not get pregnant. At the time, I thought that my only option was to use condoms forever. But I didn't like that one either. I wanted to feel skin to skin with him. I wanted the full experience. It felt like I wanted it all but didn't know how to get there.

So, again, I did more research. How did women not get pregnant before all this? Was it even possible? Well, I learned that again my sexual education had failed me. I literally thought that I could get pregnant any day of my cycle. In all my knowledge of sexuality, I didn't understand how ovulation worked and how pregnancy really worked. Turns out, you can only get pregnant about 6 days of your cycle. Who knew?! gestures vaguely

So, there's only about a 24-hour period where your body ovulates, and this is the only time a sperm can implant in an egg. But the sperm can survive inside the vaginal canal for up to 5 days. So, I understood for the first time in my life, that I could only get pregnant for those 5 days leading up to ovulation and the 24-hours of ovulation. Outside of this timeframe there's a non-existent chance of pregnancy. It's just not possible. But timing is key.

I also learned about the fertility awareness method. Basically, you take your temperature first thing every single morning and track it. When your body ovulates, it releases the hormone progesterone. This release triggers a slightly higher resting body temperature. So, if you're tracking this you can see when you ovulated. If followed correctly, this method is 99% effective. Correctly being that operative word there.

So, I signed up for one of the tracking apps. I used Natural Cycles. There are only two apps (Natural Cycles and Clue) that are FDA approved for effective birth control, so if you have no clue what you're doing I highly recommend these two. However, if you're highly knowledgeable about how this all works, you can technically do this method with pen and paper or any of the other tracking apps. These two approved ones are pretty bulletproof though if you want to be absolutely sure and are new to this method. Note, I have not been paid by this company, just sharing what I used.

Every morning, I took my temperature and entered it into the app. One cool option they have now, is it can sync to an Oura ring, which automatically tracks your temperature overnight and automatically updates the app with your data so you no longer have to take your temperature and enter it manually. The apps are VERY cautious at first, so your number of green days (days you don't have to worry about pregnancy) start kinda low. But as the app learns your unique cycle it starts giving you more and more green days.

On red days (days where pregnancy can happen) you must use another form of birth control. This could be condoms, abstaining from penetration, or my preferred method: the correct pull-out method. Now, this is probably the most alarming statement I've made so far. You must be thinking, the pull-out method doesn't work?! This is sex ed 101! Unfortunately, they never taught you the correct way to use the pull-out method.

Most people think you just pull out before ejaculation. That's partially true. But sperm can live inside the urethra for up to 5 hours after ejaculation. And it's hypothesized that after he urinates, that washes out most of the sperm and creates a very hostile environment for the sperm to survive. So, a combination of him urinating and waiting 5 hours after he ejaculates to penetrate the vagina again, this will create the 96% effectiveness rating for the pull-out method.

Pre-cum does NOT contain sperm. Only ejaculate contains sperm. But if he ejaculated in the past 5 hours, there's a chance that sperm are still alive in the urethra, and can be pushed out in pre-cum. That 96% effectiveness rating is with perfect use. But if this method is new to either of you, this is when the most accidents happen. The effectiveness rating drops to about 72% with typical use, which includes accidents and not fully understanding the method. So, beware! Be extra cautious when you are first learning this method and with new male partners.

My partner, Sweet Potato, is the only man I trust with this method. He understands deeply when he is close enough to ejaculating, and can pull out, and I trust him completely with knowing the last time he ejaculated. We are both trying to avoid pregnancy for now, and we both know what that takes.

NOTE: This method is NOT recommended if your partner is controlling, abusive, or irresponsible. Do not rely on this method with narcissists, sociopaths, or domestic abusers. They cannot be trusted. This method also does not protect against STI's.

I also want to talk about the cervical mucus method for knowing these red days. Now that I've tracked my cycle for so long, I've learned what my ovulating cervical mucus feels like. It's super slippery, and when I press it between two fingers and separate the fingers it creates silky strings between my fingers. When I'm not ovulating, my unaroused mucus feels very sticky, and when pressed between my fingers it doesn't for strings, but it just completely separates. This can be one method for detecting ovulation and when ovulation stops.

This method has one big drawback. It's called delayed ovulation. There are some months where, if you're stressed, overly tired, sick, doing long fasts or intense exercise, have a chaotic life, or other conditions, then your normal ovulation may delay. Basically, your body is saying, this might not be the BEST time to get pregnant. It could delay a few days, a few weeks, or months in rarer cases where there may be other underlying issues with the hypothalamus.

The issue comes in that leading up to when the body normally ovulates (between day 12-21 of the cycle) the mucus will get silky. Then if ovulation is delayed, it will get dry. If this were the only method you were following to prevent pregnancy, you would think you're back in green days. Then suddenly your mucus will get silky again and your real ovulation will happen. If he came inside you in the last 5 days you're at risk of getting pregnant.

The body temperature method will catch this, and that's why it's far more effective. Since this method relies of the presence of progesterone to create the body temperature increase, and this hormone only increases after ovulation, then it still gives an accurate prediction of ovulation. Some months you may be frustrated because you're not seeing an increase in temperature so you must still use your backup method, but this is when it's most important!

However, I've been using this method for 6 years now, and we have never had a pregnancy scare. This method does work! Yes, not using hormonal birth control takes knowledge, control, and power to create lasting effectiveness. Now that we are both very used to this method it feels super natural to us. But the benefits are also amazing! Plus, you can reverse all this information for when you're trying to get pregnant!

For the first time in my adult life, I finally felt what my ovulation really felt like. And it's amazing! I love the surge when I hit this part of my cycle. I feel so connected to the cycles of my body, and I've learned so much in this time about what the follicular phase and the luteal phase do. I'm having real menstruation as well, which just feels good (even when it feels bad). And I've also discovered some hormonal imbalances in my body that were most likely heavily affected by being on synthetic hormones for so long.

Plus, I get to enjoy the skin-to-skin connection with my partner all the time. And I feel really confident about him ejaculating inside me when we are on green days. I know many women who are afraid of these things because they don't fully understand their cycle or how pregnancy works. But it is possible to lower your risk for unwanted pregnancy, and still have wild, raw, and primal sex with your partner. It took me several months to get comfortable with this whole process, so take your time, and trust that it gets easier.

So, to simplify this method:

• The Basal Body Temperature method is the most effective for predicting ovulation. If you're brand new to this use Natural Cycles or Clue to tell you when to use your backup method.

• Sperm survives in the vagina for about 5 days.

• Ovulation only occurs for 24 hours.

• The correct pull-out method is not ejaculating in the vagina and waiting 5 hours after any ejaculation to enter the vagina again.

• Cervical mucus can tell you when you're fertile and ovulating but doesn't catch when you have a delayed ovulation.

• When you're on green days there is a non-existent chance of pregnancy, so you can ejaculate inside the vagina with no worries of pregnancy.

• Do not use this method if your partner is abusive, controlling, or untrustworthy.

• This method does not protect against STI's.

• You can reverse all this information for when you're trying to get pregnant!

INSPIRED ACTION: What other concerns do you have around pregnancy? What fears come up when you think about using the pull-out method? Purity culture and fear mongering about sex have pervaded our culture. But sex is natural, and you can be empowered to have it with little worry and fear. Journal about how it could change your life to worry less about pregnancy, and to not be on hormonal birth control.