The Sea of Orgies: Cap D'Agde

We went to France, y'all! It was a trip we had planned because we wanted to have sex on the beach (legally). Yeah, we've done it not exactly legally, but we wanted to be somewhere that we could just be out in the open sexually. After some research we found what looked like the holy grail of sex positive culture: Cap D'Adge in the South of France right on the Mediterranean. We booked our stay immediately, then waited to take off!

Cap D'Agde is the largest nudist resort in the world, and it's not your average nudist location. It also houses about 10 sex clubs, and they have the Bay of Pigs, which is the sex positive beach area. Most of the beach is just nudist, but if you walk all the way to the end of the beach it turns sexy. The village is made up of several large resorts, some smaller ones, and private residences. Many of the resorts are not for underage people, so no kids are allowed to stay there. But the entire village is family friendly, which I think is a bit of an oversight with the heavy focus on sex.

What I find at most nudist resorts is that they are very sex negative to be more family friendly. And I do believe nudity is for the whole family, so I don't want to change that, but there is a vibe at these places that is like sex should be completely hidden and we shouldn't even talk about it or someone might get hard, which would be bad! Cap D'Agde is not like this. There are sex stores everywhere with dildos, lingerie, and all sorts of strange things to adorn your naked body. There were porn stores, and sex workers, and we got handed a sticker of a naked lady. Sex was not something hidden at Cap.

Many nudist resorts are also strictly no clothes allowed as well. And again, Cap is not like this. During the day people often walked around in very very little clothing. Think mesh shirts and shorts, thick holed crocheted coverups, delicate chains, cock rings. The style at Cap was more about how little can I wear and still look stylish. And at night... there were dress codes in the clubs! I was shocked at this. I should be able to arrive fully nude to any place in a nudist resort and be let in. But oh no! I've honestly never been somewhere with such a strict dress code. It was so annoying because it puts value on clothes even here. You have to dress up to be allowed to enter.

And not just clothes... shoes as well! I had to buy a pair of heels there because the shoes I brought (my nicest flats that I wear in weddings and funerals and fancy events everywhere I go) were not good enough to pass the Cap test. That's right, in order to enter a sex club I had to be hobbling around in heels on fucking cobblestones! It was super depressing to watch all these women struggling in heels everywhere they went. Some women like to wear heels and do it well, and I celebrate the fuck out of those women. I am not one of them. I wore heels religiously in high school, and after that I swore them off because of my ankle and foot pain. I wanted to leave the clubs earlier than I was ready because my feet were so uncomfortable.

Honestly, it took me some time to get over the dress code in the nudist village. I knew it going in, but I didn't understand how rigid and annoying the bouncers would be with it. In this aspect I would call Cap the worst nudist village I've ever been to. If you want to go for the nudity, you can easily find any other nudist resort that will actually have nudity full time. Where Cap shines is the sex clubs. This is why I'm so confused why they insist on it being "family friendly". Do not take your children here.

The first sex club we wanted to see was called Tantra. I knew from the start that it was going to be an appropriation, but WOW did I not understand the level of appropriation it was going to be! I thought it would be sensual at least, with somewhat of a vibe of sacred sexuality. No. It was just a trashy sex club that they allow you to smoke INSIDE of, where they push alcohol (there's a 2-drink minimum), and there's not even a little bit of a feel of sensuality or sacredness. It's just piles of orgies, drunk people, cigarettes, and European style consent, which is touch first, and if they don't say no, you're good. And they almost wouldn't let me in because of my shoes. A Neo Tantra Teacher and Tantra practitioner almost couldn't get into the Tantra club because of her shoes. Wild. 0/10. Do not recommend.

However, Sweet Potato and I can make wine from grapes, so we actually had really great sex there once we got used to the cigarette smoke. Many of the clubs have couples only sections, which were much nicer to hang in than where single men were allowed to be. This was our first night in Cap, and I got a valuable lesson as well.

Sweet Potato (SP) was eating me out on a big, extra-long mattress in the middle of the room. There were probably 4 other couples on this mattress. We were right in the thick of it. And the guy next to me was on the bottom as well. He accidentally hit me with his arm as he stretched it up over him. I smiled and said it was alright. Big mistake. Because then he just put his fingers right in my mouth. In. My. Mouth. I pulled his fingers out and said no thank you, and to his credit he stopped immediately, but wow was that gross as hell! I learned then that you can't be nice to boys at Cap. If someone accidentally touches you, then just ignore it, don't make eye contact, and definitely don't smile. Ugh. I felt like I had to harden myself a bit after that in order to stay.

Cap is not built for women, trans, non-binary, or queer people. It feels like it was built for the male in a male/female couple. Which isn't surprising. So much of this world is built for them. How silly of me to think that Tantra (or Cap) would be any different. They wanted a word that made you think of sex, and they settled on Tantra because they know so little about it. They also owned the day club next door called Kamasutra, so these people are just built on appropriation. I did enjoy laying by the pool at Kamasutra though on one of the windy days that made the beach too sandy to fuck on.

And oh the beach! The best sex we had in Cap was on the beach. But not during the day at the Bay of Pigs. We wandered down to the Bay of Pigs a couple of times, and it was a whole thing down there! People jam packed into the entire span of beach. And the wanking dead following the action around. Haha! I love this descriptor because it is so accurate! These masses of men just looking for action and wandering from towel to towel to try and catch it. A horde of semi interested men blankly staring at each other masturbating to one lady touching herself, or a couple fucking, or, if they're lucky, a lady asking to get come on by everyone. It was the opposite of turn on for me, but SP and I found a quieter corner of the beach to relax on.

We played in the crystal-clear ocean that was very shallow at the shore and the waves were gentle. It was pretty hot (like upper 90's) most of the days we were there, so playing in the water was ideal. I mostly sucked his cock as he stood in the knee-high water. This was very fun, and we love being able to do this in the open. But we weren't searching for the wanking dead to come find us, so we kept it playful and light here. It was too hot for us to fuck on the sand. But SP did discover how much he likes to drown me in the shallow water. He's such a sadist, it's so cute! Whenever he brings my life to the edge, he gets so hard. It makes me smile. Hehe!

So, my favorite time we had sex this entire trip was on the beach, but at night. It was probably 3 in the morning. We had just left the queer sex club, and were pretty disappointed by it as well. It felt like a concrete basement with 6 people in it. The music was way too loud for only having 6 people in it, do these people really not listen to their music in the space? And there weren't any other women. It was heavy gay vibes for sure, not much of a lesbian vibe to speak of. So, we went up to the beach real late.

And there was almost no one out there! We walked a bit down the beach to stay out of the spotlight and set up our sweet little love making space. We had brought a very large sand resistant blanket for this exact purpose. SP ate me out and I got to look up at the clear starry sky as I came. Then we made love and behind SP's face as I looked up, I saw the stars dance behind him. We fucked for a while out there and came together in such beauty. Truly the best sex I had on this entire trip was right there with just him. A sea of orgies, and I still just wanted to be taken by just him.

We stayed at Port Nature, and our room was on the ground floor, which meant that with our blinds open anyone had a full view of our bed. Frequently, we had sex in that room because it was the only place with air conditioning. France is resistant to AC, something about the pride of being able to handle the heat, or something like that. We are not of this mindset. If there's AC we are going to use it. And we are going to crank it all the way up. So, we fucked in the room often.

I was ovulating for this trip, and I highly recommend that. I was feral, and we were playing with a new kink dynamic, so I was unquenchable. This also meant that we were like a little fishbowl, because people would often stop and watch us from outside. To stay at Port Nature you had to be over 18, but you can walk kids through this area. I don't recommend this. Again, Cap, just choose to be over 18, why are you pretending this is family friendly?

And there was almost no consent talked about while we were there. When we booked the room there was a short blurb on consent, but after that no one ever talked about it. No clubs ever mentioned it and based on my many experiences it truly was touch first and ask questions later. I was glad that I knew this going in so I could modulate my boundaries to include this. I recommend this method if you're coming from America.

Mid trip we were a little disappointed with the place. The best sex we were having was just with each other, the clubs were often gross and annoying, I had to wear heels everywhere at night, and people were barely nude! Then we went to Glamour at night and everything changed. We found ourselves in a threesome in the labyrinth of couples only rooms downstairs. And this happened because we had been watching the Europeans through this whole week. This place is built for swingers, or libertines as they call them in Europe. It's built for quick partner swaps, threesomes, and watching. We watched countless swings all week, astonished at the complete lack of discussion beforehand.

The most common exchange we witnessed was two couples swapping partners with maybe a few sentences exchanged before penetration, then watching them move on to others after a few minutes of vigorous penetration. It was astonishing to see so many happen so quickly. In the kinds of circles that we run in here in the PNW, there's usually more talk that goes into things before they progress to penetration. We've been to the swingers clubs here, and even those we didn't see as many swaps as we did in just a few minutes in Cap clubs. People are clearly there for a reason, and they are getting what they came for.

I'm not that quick to take on a new male partner, though. The flirting is literally half the fun for me, so quick hookups don't do it for me. SP and I had several consent talks before this week to identify what we both wanted out of it and how we would handle everything. I wanted to watch, be watched, maybe fuck some women, and watch him fuck whoever he wants. With complete strangers we always use condoms. So, after watching all these swaps, we learned that all it really takes is for the man to invite someone over that seems willing.

So, we were in this huge compound at Glamour of darkly lit, mysterious rooms all full of people fucking, and I was sucking his cock on one of the beds. A side note, all the beds here are made out of plastic so you can just wipe them down, no sheets or anything. And SP tries the trick we've learned. He sees one lady that keeps watching us. She came and left the room we were in multiple times. Then, as he's making eye contact with her, he just lightly taps the bed next to him, and she jumps in. They start making out while I'm still going down on him, they exchange names, and then a minute later he puts on a condom and is fucking her. We all fucked for maybe 15 minutes or so, then she says she has to go, and this was her first threesome and left. Haha!

We were both shocked how easy it was, and he tried it again the next night in Histories, the day spa sex club, and it worked again! We didn't even know her name the second time. Histories was very interesting. It had a huge jacuzzi tub for like 10 people, a giant sauna, and a couple big, dimly lit rooms with plastic mattresses for fucking. We watched many partner swaps there. Truly, Cap is the place to be for swingers.

But for people just trying to have public sex, like us? It's alright. The freedom to fuck was definitely there. And we had a great time in some of the clubs (especially Glamour!). But I didn't like the alcohol being pushed at every entrance, and the consent being questionable for Americans at best, and the cigarettes everywhere. We often joked that it felt like we were in a Jersey Shore club that just happened to allow sex. The music was always too loud for the space (from a sound engineering standpoint), and for some reason the music was always early American Millennial jams from the 2000's, often remixed into house music. Plus, there was a constant barrage of interest in me whenever SP wasn't around.

One time he went in the water, and I was just at the shore putting on sunscreen. A man literally stopped a couple feet from me and watched me put it on the rest of my body, then asked if I wanted to hang out. No. If I wandered the village alone, men would follow me and ask me questions and ask if I was here with anyone. I am polite when I say no, but this is not always respected and often men push further after I say no nicely. Being direct and firm without smiling is how to traverse this space for sure. And how to traverse France in general it seems. I smile at everything though because life genuinely makes me happy, so this always felt like me being fake.

We definitely had a great time at Cap, don't get me wrong. But it wasn't our ideal sex positive space to play in. Our ideal spaces are curated with sensuality and conversation in mind. They are more welcoming to LGBTQ+ people, kinks, and taboos. Spaces that talk about consent and have workshops to help you drop in to your body. The music isn't at 100 all the time, and there is a smoking section outside. Alcohol isn't pushed at every turn. And of course I'm describing the sex positive events that we throw, the Love Lab!

We laughed to each other as we kept describing the kind of spaces we were looking for and kept being reminded that the Love Lab is not in Cap! I get it, these clubs have to make money, and there is a short season to do it. No hate for that. But can they come up with ways to make money that don't have to be alcohol? And can the bars not be the focus of every club here? And can we stop smoking indoors because it makes my stomach nauseous and not want to have sex! And can drinkable water be free?!

No, I don't think Cap is going to change anytime soon. Check it out if this sounds like your thing. I don't regret going as I love seeing how other spaces do sex positive culture. Would I go again? Probably not, unless there was a big group I was going with. Will I continue to explore the sex positive spaces out there? Absolutely. And will I keep making my own sex positive space even more aligned, consensual, and fun? You're goddamn right! We had a great time, and got to see so much sex, and got to fuck legally on the beach, which is exactly what we wanted. There's room to be desired at Cap D'Agde, but it's definitely a bucket list item for anyone who is into sex positive culture!

PS. Check out the Love Lab events here: www.lovelabevents.com

INSPIRED ACTION: I keep wondering what it means that the best sex I had at one of the most sexual spaces in the world was with just my Sweet Potato alone on the beach. I think it means that we in the relationship we want to be in. Explore what you think would be your favorite part about going to sex positive spaces, then explore what would surprise you most in these spaces.