The Year I Blew Myself Away

Owning a business is a wild adventure full of doubt, fear, isolation, and... empowerment! My third year in business just ended, and I'm so proud to announce that I made a profit for the very first time! Like, jumping off the walls kind of proud! I'm now completely dependent on my business for all my income, and I'm out of savings. And this can be a very scary place. I have no guarantees, no assurances, no backup plan. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

So, what does it take to get here? Well, honestly, divine luck was a big part. I definitely don't want you to think you can do exactly what I did and get the same results. I want to acknowledge the immense gifts I was given to even be able to start this work. I am privileged. Privilege isn't about what you had to go through, but about what you didn't have to go through. I've been through so much to get here, and I also have a whole pile of things I didn't have to go through.

If you really want my secret, you should find a way to get thousands of dollars in your savings account before you even think about starting a business in this field. Through a series of unfortunate events at the time, I found myself in possession of a large sum of money. Around 100K. I call them unfortunate events because I got fired from my fancy corporate job, and then my father died. Both of these created the opportunity for me to come into money.

With this money I travelled to Greece and got my Tantra Teacher Certification in 30 days. Then, after a year of teaching workshops, I decided to spend $13,000 to create a new way to get long term income: coaching. I paid up front, in full. Then, because I had enough money to pay the mortgage, I moved through the intense 600+ hour program in just 14 months without getting another job. I finished before most people in the program because I could devote all the time needed to do it.

This wasn't because of time management, or will power, or some special trick. It's because I had money. Money is a divine energy, and I used it to grow. The only thing I did that most wouldn't, is I took the risk of spending that money all the way to zero. In December, that money ran out, 4 years after getting fired from my previous job. What I did differently was that I didn't rush into some trash job just to pay the bills because I was afraid. I didn't hoard the money and save it just to feel safe on my nest. I made calculated decisions, took thought out risks, and committed to a path.

And that path has led me here, to making a fucking profit after just 3 years in business! And the privilege of having money does not make the doubt, fear, and insecurity just go away. I'm not going to pretend money solves every problem. It solves some, but you still have to face the rest. I taught myself to build a website and to make reels on Instagram. I worked through doubt in myself that I could actually do it. I learned how to do accounting. I set up flows in my business to make it more manageable for me. This all took work and dedication and commitment.

All that work up until this point has set me up to be able to surrender this to the universe. Where discipline meets surrender is flow. Each step I had to embody discipline to get the work done, and surrender to let the universe lead me down the path. If I had ever relied too heavily on discipline, then I would be burned out and lost. If I had ever relied too heavily on surrender, then I wouldn't have taken the necessary steps to move the needle. It is all impossible without both, together, in harmony.

I feel that flow in everything that I do. And I feel it catch and sour when I I'm not. This is a sign to me to reestablish discipline or surrender. The advice I can give you on your path is this formula. Discipline + Surrender = Flow. Our paths most certainly will not be the same. In fact, to get the abundance of cash I had, it was really painful to be fired from my fancy job that I had devoted my life to for 8 years and to lose my father. There was sorrow and fear and doubt that was so difficult to move through. There were weeks and months that I questioned everything. I don't wish that on you. What I do wish for you is that when opportunity comes knocking in whatever form it comes, that you have the courage to claim it and open the doors you have always dreamt of.

So, let me take a moment to celebrate some of my biggest wins in 2024. And if my wins trigger jealousy or discomfort in you, that's a sign of where your deepest desires are, not a sign that I should not share my own wins.

In 2024, one of my proudest moments was teaching Sex Magick at Soulplay. I travelled to Northen California with my dear partner and shared 2 workshops over the weekend. This festival was all workshops and ecstatic dance, so it was especially exciting to be chosen to share 2. My Sex Magick workshop was packed! I estimate about 200 people were there with me! My largest workshop to date!

I ended the year teaching my 107th workshop since I began teaching in 2022. That's a lot of workshops! I've also taught 2150 people in my workshops for a total of 373 total hours teaching. That's huge! I dreamt of this milestone of teaching over 100 workshops and to over 2000 students. It feels surreal to be here and to still be LOVING giving the workshops.

I added coaching to my offerings in March of this year after completing the arduous journey of getting that certification. I'm so grateful that the certification was so in depth, and right out the gate I felt prepared to start helping people heal and move beyond talk therapy to the next level. That March I sold my first 10-session package! And I sold 7 packages over the whole year, including my first premium package! These sales are the reason I made a profit this year!

I also revolutionized my private workshops this year and turned them from a pre-made stock workshop into a 2-hour coaching session that helps me build a completely custom 3-hour workshop! I sold multiple packages of these this year as well and am getting wonderful feedback from these sessions!

And finally, I stepped into deeper power and leadership at Burning Man. Taking on the role of spiritual feminine guide to my camp, Naked Heart. Through this work I helped bring our camp to the next level of safety, trust, love, and connection. And already have lots of plans to go a step further this coming year! A true highlight of the year was being one of Layla Martin's Sex Witches for her Sex Magick workshop at Burning Man, and getting to know her a little bit more.

2024 felt like a huge leap forward, and it came with its own struggles as well. In the summer, I was assaulted by an Uber driver and dealt with the fallout of that for months. I don't like to admit it, but that lead me to rely on weed, tv, and sex for distraction. And until I could actually face the pain head on, I struggled heavily. I'm proud to say that I was able to move through a lot of it in an incredible rage ritual at Burning Man. Rage leads us to our deepest expression and liberation, and finding healthy ways to feel it fully is a healing process.

Unfortunately, I got reminded of just how far society is from that truth when my very first reel on Instagram went viral, and it was my rage ritual. It currently has over 180,000 views and thousands of likes, comments, and shares. I was faced with the hatred and repression that a lot of society still feels about rage. And I also found many new followers from it. The lesson that came through was that we cannot stay in our bubbles, we must go into the dark parts of society to find the people who resonate with us. You cannot only stay in the light. And you also must take care of yourself in the dark. Hatred, anger, judgement and shame was all hurled at me. And I stood in the face of it. Head on.

And now what does 2025 have in store? I don't pretend to know. But I already have big plans myself. Soon I'll share with you a big step forward I've taken in Tantra, when it's ready. And I have set very lofty goals for my business this year. If I only hit half of them, I'll be doing amazing! So, I carry the lessons with me from 2020 and on, and especially I carry with me the commitment to discipline and surrender so that I may move into 2025 with flow.

I can honestly say that I blew myself away in 2024.

INSPIRED ACTION: This is an invitation for you to look at your own path and how you got here. What privilege did you have that allowed you to avoid some of the more difficult parts of the path, and what obstacles were most heavy to move? Let this be a reminder that when we celebrate our success, that we honor our unique path there as well. It's not about the end goal, but the journey there.