On a random Tuesday in September, I laid in my bed and screamed bloody murder at all the men who had hurt me and hurt the people I loved. It's not that women haven't hurt me, too, it's just that, for me, the deepest wounds are from men. But I wasn't concerned about being politically correct when privately unleashing my anger. It's more than anger sometimes, it's full-on rage. I kicked my feet and shook. I could feel my face getting red, my limbs getting hotter. And, at the same time, I was self-pleasuring. I was using my anger to fuel my turn on. And it was working! That morning I had my first angergasm!
This may surprise you, but I've struggled with my anger for years. Anger at all those fucking men. Anger at what they do to others. Anger at my helplessness. Anger, anger, anger! But I had never used the anger in a way that was helpful. It always felt like it was destructive, and I wanted nothing to do with it. When I began my spiritual path, I wanted to use it to get rid of my anger. Now, I want to use it to have amazing orgasms that are fueled by these trapped emotions. And in doing it this way, I also let go of the emotions. It's a real win/win!
I had previously had some gigglegasms in my early Tantra journey. In fact, those were my first experiences with energy orgasms. I moved the energy through my body and tapped into the giggles to fuel it. I laughed for minutes as the energy spread through my body. It felt like I was floating. But I never thought I would be able to use my anger this way. How!? Luckily, I was introduced to a detailed practice on how to do it, and it's not as difficult as I thought it would be!
I want to take some time to talk about what orgasm really is, first. Society has got us all thinking it's the muscle spasms localized in the genitals. But orgasm is so much more than that! When you expand your definition of what orgasm is, you can have all sorts of amazing experiences! I think orgasm has 3 parts. A pleasure aspect, where you literally feel and accumulate pleasure. Then an expansion or movement aspect, where the pleasure expands and moves beyond that original location of pleasure all over the body. And finally, a surrender to the experience, where you're not controlling the outcome but doing whatever your body wants. The surrender could be relaxing, or it could be primal and active. Notice I didn't mention any muscle spasms. This could absolutely accompany the orgasmic journey, but ultimately I think that definition is really limiting and puts so much pressure on that one aspect of a multifaceted orgasmic experience! Expand your definition of orgasm, and you can expand your orgasmic journey!
Soon after the angergasm, I attempted a crygasm with the same success. My anger is almost always hiding my sadness anyway! Using the energy of the sadness to fuel my passion felt so healing. I literally want to move all my emotions with my orgasms now! I've already used this tool many times, and I'm so excited to share it with you! First, you have to be willing to be present with all your emotions to do this. You can't just dip a toe in and hope to have an angergasm. When I had it, it felt like chaos, so you must be open to the potential chaos of feeling your stuck emotions, even the emotions you hate.
Understand that emotions are not "good" or "bad". All emotions are neutral energies. They are messengers with something to tell you. And they are designed to move quickly through your system as they tell you. Destruction occurs when you don't allow the emotion to move easily through your system, and they get stuck. Stuck emotions will often affect your sex life, too. Anger has certainly affected mine. Suppressing or ignoring the emotions takes a lot of energy, energy that then can't be used for pleasure, bliss, joy, or peace. They clog up your energetic system and make it so the energy doesn't move so fluidly. Getting your emotions unstuck is a key in experiencing the most earth-shattering pleasure you've ever felt!
Next, it's important to learn how to experience your emotions as raw sensation, and not get attached to the stories behind them. The story can bring up the sensations, but then it's key to turn your attention back to the sensations. For me, the anger felt really heavy, hot, and sharp. But the way you feel emotions could be completely different from me. All sensations are welcome including, hot, cold, tingles, heavy, light, expanding, contracting, watery, electric, dull, sharp, tension, relaxation, etc. If you want to have an angergasm, or crygasm, or even a gigglegasm, you must learn how to experience the emotion as a sensation. This can take time and practice if you're not used to it, so give yourself as much patience, grace, and gratitude as you can!
Here's how you can try it at home. First, turn yourself on. You know what you like. Go for it! Take about ten minutes to really get turned on, but don't go over into orgasm yet. Focus on the sensations in the body as you pleasure yourself. If you're not feeling physical pleasure today, then you can do this with sensual turn on (lighting up the senses) or just loving connection (opening up to and flowing with your own self-love).
Next, ask yourself, "what emotions are present in me right now?". Allow that emotion to develop. You can step into the story for a moment, but don't get lost in the story. Let the story go as soon as you can connect to the physical sensations of the emotion. What are the sensations and where in your body are they? Keep self-pleasuring, and start to move and sound with these emotions. This is very important. The emotions can't be liberated if you stay still. Do whatever comes up! Stomp your feet, shake, jump around, get on all fours and roar if that's what the emotion wants! And keep pleasuring.
The orgasm is actually not necessary in this process. Don't put any pressure on yourself to have one. If it happens, great, if not, great! The most important part is the moving and sounding with the emotion. Really let loose on this step, and it can liberate any stuck emotion. If you are going to go into orgasm, before you do stop everything, and start to cycle the energy from your root to your crown (the microcosmic orbit). Notice as you move the energy up and down your body how it feels, how the emotion is fueling your body. After several rounds go back to the sensations of the emotion and moving and sounding it with pleasure again. You can end it whenever it feels complete, maybe after you feel that surrender to whatever is there. Finish with a grounding exercise, sending all the energy back into the Earth with relaxed exhales.
Tantra explains that emotions are life energy and every emotion has it's own consciousness. That means that we can interact with the emotion intelligently and intuitively. This process can liberate incredible amounts of energy from your system. When done over time, it could heal and transform many parts of your life. And you don't just have to use difficult emotions. You can use love, joy, peace, bliss, giggles! Any emotion is fair game in this Tantric Emotional Release.
INSPIRED ACTION: Right now, plan a time in your schedule to try this out! It's amazing! Literally write it in your schedule. Make sure you know how to resource yourself in case you get lost in a story. An easy one is to find a place of safety or power within you and return to that place whenever you feel you need it. Another great one is looking around the room at things, touching things, tasting things, smelling things, and hearing things. Using all the senses to remind yourself that you are here now. When you have safety, you can do anything.