Oh breasts, you lovely, supple, sweet things! I remember the first time I touched someone else's breasts. I was so surprised how warm and soft they were. They invited me in, and I wanted to get lost in them forever! And yet I find that most discourse on sex revolves around the genitals. But the breasts hold special and magical powers that can enhance any sexual experience when at least one partner has them! Here's a practice you can try tonight to start to have sex that expands beyond just the genitals, and starts to infuse your sex with love, compassion, and care. (And gay men and them's, don't you worry, I'll be sharing a cock massage next, so stay tuned!)
If you have a pussy, then your breasts are actually a positive pole in your body. Imagine your pussy as a negative energetic pole. That means the energetic signature is not generating but receiving. Whereas the cock is a positive pole, meaning it generates energy. The breasts also generate energy instead of receiving. Of course, both are capable of generating and receiving, but they have a core pole that is their most simple type to tap into. It's kind of like swimming against the current if you try to do it the other way around. It's possible, but less intuitive, and less easeful.
So, if the breasts are positive, then they are much better at generating energy. Imagine a cis, hetero relationship. The woman can usually more easily tap into love, compassion, and care and open her heart more quickly than the man. Whereas the man can usually more easily turn himself on and generate energy more quickly in his cock. Neither is better or worse than the other, this polarity just exists as a neutral force. But we can tap into this neutral force with knowledge and wisdom to help make them work better for us in sex!
By starting at the breasts, we can start to generate energy and allow it to overflow for the benefit of all partners and have a sexual experience that is less focused on genital pleasure, and more focused on love, safety, and intimacy, while also being wildly pleasurable! Imagine the breasts overflowing with juicy, magical, potent energy and that energy getting added to the genital pleasure and overflowing to the whole energetic field of the sex! Here's how!
Start by setting the mood. If you feel gross take a shower. Turn the lights down. Light some candles or incense. Lay down an extra soft blanket. Play sexy music you both love. Grab a skin safe oil, like coconut or almond. Prepare whatever makes you feel sexiest. You can do this on a bed or on the floor, just make sure it's soft. Set up a comfy position. I usually like to be sitting behind my partner and let their head rest on a pillow at my inner thighs. You could also sit between their legs and drape their legs over yours. Make sure the giver is also comfy! No crooked necks!
Start with consent. Ask permission to touch their breasts, and don't give consent if it's not a full body fuck yes. Once you get a yes, move on. If you get a no, then talk about what other practice feels aligned tonight and do that.
Place your hands on your partner's heart center and begin with 3 loving compliments of your partner's breasts. Go deeper than surface level here! And invite your partner to take 3 long, deep breaths as you speak. Encourage them to keep breathing these deep, full breaths throughout.
Grab your oil and warm it up in your hands first, then gently and slowly rub it on their breasts using circular motions going down on the outside and up on the inside. Mostly use the palms of your hands, not your fingers. It's ok for the fingers to drape along the breasts as you do this, but no pressure in the fingers.
Consent is ongoing and empowering! Ask how your partner is liking the pressure and speed and make any changes they desire. Assure them that they can express any emotions that arise.
After some time has gone by (don't rush it), reverse the direction of the circles, going down on the inside and up on the outside. Encourage your partner to feel into the new sensations and keep breathing deeply. Maybe even sounding on the exhale.
When this direction feels complete, cup your hands over your partner's breasts and gently but firmly hold them as you offer 3 things that you love about them. Don't rush to completion. This time is especially vulnerable for them, so remove your hands very very slowly, assuring them you are right there for anything they may need. It's totally natural for emotions to come up here.
After this is complete you can talk about where you want to go from here. If both partners have breasts, then maybe switch and do the other person. If you're familiar with cock massage you could offer this. (My next blog will cover this topic!) You could do a sensual oral exploration. You could do eye gazing, and heart breathing, which would be particularly potent here! And eventually, you could go to penetrative sex. Keep breathing together and making delicious eye contact, and if you ever lose the connection to the heart then pause and focus your attention there again. Resist the urge to fall into habitual sex and explore pleasure with a curious mindset instead. I hope you enjoy!
INSPIRED ACTION: Schedule a time to actually try this practice out! If you enjoy it, share it with your friends and let's change the world one breast massage at a time by igniting love, compassion, and care for all!
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