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Writer's pictureLona

Love Is a Skill: How Neuroplasticity Can Turn You into an Epic Lover


Lona learned that love is a skill

I wasn't always an incredible lover. I used to be jealous, selfish, and controlling. And this was all due to how I was raised, and the pain that I had been through. Luckily, our brains have developed an amazing ability to change. Through things like somatic therapies, you can learn to form new neural pathways, strengthen existing ones, and even reassign functions from damaged parts of the brain to new parts. This all means that you are capable of transforming how you relate to others, yourself, and can go from a mediocre lover to an epic one! Love is absolutely a skill you can learn over time, no matter how terrible you think you might be right now.


If the science of brains bores you then go ahead a skip this paragraph. I, personally, am kind of a nerd for this stuff though! Your brain is so powerful that it can learn to reorganize and adapt based on new experiences, learning, and your environment. It involves the changing of neural networks in your brain. Your brain is actually made up of a giant network of neurons that communicate through electrical and chemical signals. The neurons are organized in neural networks, meaning one set of neurons (which could be millions of neurons) deal with specific issues, like sensory decoding, or muscle memory. There are entire sets of neural networks that are dedicated to how you relate to others, how you love yourself, and how you react in relationships.


These neural networks are not static, they are very dynamic. Probably more dynamic than you even think! One powerful emotional experience can begin to build a new neural network. 12 powerful emotional experiences can alter your entire way of relating to others! And they don't just build new networks, your brain can actually start to weaken and dismantle the old pattern so that the new way becomes the automatic response over time!


Imagine living your life like it's brand new. Imagine having an empowering response to abandonment when in the past you've had only stress and anxiety. Imagine learning to trust your partner when you've never been able to fully trust anyone before. Imagine creating stellar communication and safety for your partner even if you have only started unending fights in the past! All of this is possible because of neuroplasticity.


There are many ways to learn how to do this. First of all, your environment has a huge impact on your ability to learn. You've likely heard that learning a new language is easiest in complete immersion into that language. So, it's also true that being surrounded by incredible lovers is one way to become an incredible lover yourself. But it's not automatic. You've also got to practice and be open to change. Just like someone who isn't trying to learn that new language could go years in that immersion and still not be able to speak it much.


Another way to use the science of the brain to become an epic lover is through learning. You can read books, attend workshops, listen to lectures, and talk to friends or family about how they make relationships work. This method is reinforced by practice. So, you have to actually be in a relationship to practice it! It's very difficult to become amazing in a relationship if you're single. You can think your way through lots of scenarios, but the neural networks aren't being lit up until you're actually in the realness of the relationship. There are plenty of ways to work on yourself outside of relationships, and I'm not saying to rush into another relationship just to work on these, but if you've been doing the inner work and you're resistant to getting into a new connection because you don't feel fully healed yet, then I'm here to tell you to go for it with caution and slowness! Commit to learning on the go and give yourself grace when inevitable mistakes happen.


One of the most impactful ways to start to transform your brain is through emotional experiences. These can happen naturally in your life, or this is where somatic therapies and somatic healing comes in. By going through the body and not just through the thinking mind you can start to rewire the brain through the body sensations. In my coaching programs you can confront your deepest insecurities by dealing directly with those body sensations.


First, we bring up a full sensory reality of you getting your deepest desire. Then we explore the body responses that feel like they are resisting, afraid of, or objecting to that desire. This lights up that crucial neural network, while also being safer because we aren't trying to get caught up in the story but focusing on the sensations! In fact, if you get caught up in story, I direct you back to the sensations. The sensations then become manageable, understandable, and less scary. Then we do a number of different exercises that can help you create a new pathway. This is the power of somatic work!


Plus, if we do these exercises from a headspace of play, or curiosity, instead of intellectualism, you can create the new neural pathway even faster! This has been proven multiple times in science, that play is the quickest path to a new response. So, unlike talk therapy, that doesn't light up the neural networks, and doesn't explore in curiosity or play, somatic healing can actually help you become an epic lover through play!


My coaching is backed by cutting edge somatic psychology, and also steeped in ancient practices from Tantra. By combining these two powerful modalities I can give you whole-life liberation through your sexuality. This can help you become the most incredible lover, a secure partner, and help you receive that love from others. If you're thinking "ok Lona, but I'm different, I've been struggling with this for years with barely any progress", then I think you're perfect for this kind of revolutionary healing. Where other modalities fail, this one can succeed because it's totally different.


If you want to know more about this methodology and how it can help you specifically, then book a Bliss Blueprint Discovery Call today. This is a complimentary 30-minute call just to help you understand if this coaching methodology is aligned with you. There are exclusive discounts and bonuses for getting on the call with me, plus you'll get a free gift even if you don't join the program. If you're ready to experience a brand-new level of sex, love, and relationships then click here: www.lonateachesbliss.com/coaching

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