Your Circle is Your Ceiling or Your Runway

I looked around the room and saw female millionaires, healers, artists, and women claiming their freedom through their businesses. I also saw other people like me, ones who clearly have their dreams marked for magnificent things in their businesses but aren't quite there yet. I felt at times like I didn't belong here, and also like this was the perfect space for me. Who you surround yourself with is where you're headed.

I was recently in Puerto Rico at the Ritz Carlton Reserve for my business mastermind's retreat. Each year Shoshanna Raven invites her Inner Circle to meet live. Because she knows the magic that happens in person. We meet weekly online, but there's something profoundly different to be in person. I went to her last live event in Denver this past September, and something shifted in me.

I was inspired by these high-level women gathering to make magic and money in the world. And they weren't ashamed or playing small. They were taking up space, being celebrated for their bigness, and also sharing their hardships along the way. This path of entrepreneurship, especially solopreneurship, like I'm in, can feel incredibly lonely. I don't have any close friends who are shooting for the stars like I am.

But when I get in the room with the Vortex, I am one of a hundred shining stars. They inspire me to do more, to dream bigger, and to take chances. They dare me to fail! They dare me to sell, because I can have the biggest impact in the world when I sell! And if I'm not failing along the way then I'm not stretching myself to what I'm capable of!

And when I gave my first big pitch two weeks ago, I turned to the group for advice, mistakes they've made, and what I'm missing. Then after when I felt a huge wave of vulnerability from sharing my dream offer, I turned to them again and asked if this was normal?! They all chimed in that it was totally normal. To put your business out there and make a big offer is super vulnerable! It's your most personal work, and the outcome is a direct reflection on your offer, your pitch, the trust you've built with the audience! I had never thought of it that way. And I felt much better.

Your circle is either your ceiling or your runway. If you are always the one in your circle (the people you interact with the most) who is pushing further and doing more and reaching for big things, then this might actually hinder you progress. Not because your circle is sabotaging you or creating hostility (although it might and if that's true run!!). But because they'll be so amazed by you that you'll feel like you're at your edge already. They create an imaginary ceiling where you feel that this is good enough. You also might feel embarrassed or like you're throwing it in their faces when you share big wins they can't relate to.

But if you're doing big things and your circle is also doing big things, then you'll feel this is totally normal and you'll keep pushing merely by their proximity. They'll celebrate your big wins and when you celebrate theirs, you'll feel you can do anything, too! You'll watch them do something big and then not coast on that success but push the gas again and go even higher.

And I'm not sharing this as a hustle culture, push until you can't stand anymore kinda way. I'm referring to being in your zone of genius, in your flow, working smarter and not harder, and knowing when to rest because rest gives you the fuel to keep going! Owning a business or achieving any big goal is always going to take work. You get to decide if that work drains you until you can't breathe anymore, or if that work becomes the fire in your furnace to build your dreams.

I'm currently deep in my accounting and taxes for the year. Hello April 15th, I see you so close! And this is arguably the least glamorous, most dingy, and detail-oriented work that I do all year. I put it off every year because I don't want to think about it, then I spend DAYS deep in the work trying to see the end.

But this year I did something different. I decided that I wouldn't hurt my neck and back just forcing myself to sit here the entire time. I go for walks, I stand and stretch, I get tea, I take breaks. And you know what? I discovered $2000 in a reserve account that's going to help me pay the taxes! All by easefully working through the shadow work of owning a business!

So, is your circle creating a ceiling for you? Or is your circle becoming a runway for you to fly?! I joined a high-level mastermind, but there are certainly other ways to get in the room with the people doing what you want!

Look for local business groups in your specific business category or something similar. Search for local women's only or men's only business entrepreneur groups. I would say the local chamber of commerce may help, although they include large corporations as well so it may not be ideal, but give it a chance! I've belonged to them before and they have their advantages! Or if you're going to join a mastermind online make sure community connection is a big pillar of the work, and ideally there's some aspect of in person work a couple times a year!

INSPRED ACTION: Write down a list of the last 5 people in your circle you have interacted with. Are their goals and dreams similar to yours? Are they playing big? Do they inspire you? Do you inspire them? Take the average of these 5 people's net worth, career/business growth, and relationships. This is where you'll unconsciously move towards.