How I Use Kink With My Menstrual Cycle

When I first met my partner, Sweet Potato, five years ago I was dying to be with a real Dom. I had been with one or two briefly, but our sexual chemistry never clicked, and it felt very mechanical. So, when Sweet Potato (SP) and I first started exploring kink, I was in a frenzy! I wanted to try everything all the time everywhere! We've tried so many kink dynamics, that one day it all clicked into place depending on where I was at in my cycle. Here's how we created a Kink Cycle Dynamic that serves both of us amazingly!

Before I met SP, I decided to go off of all forms of birth control! I had tried everything, the pill, the IUD, the patch, the ring, anything! And I discovered after I turned 30 that 15 years being on hormones was actually not great for my body or my sex drive. I'm honestly still struggling with hormonal imbalances, and luckily it's finally starting to get better! I now use my temperature and cervical mucus to determine when I ovulate to avoid pregnancy, and have never had any accidents. (If you want to know all about how I do this check out this blog: How to Not Get Pregnant and Not Take Hormonal Birth Control)

So, as we were just getting together I was realizing how amazing my natural ovulation felt! Something I hadn't felt truly in over 15 years! And I was in total sub frenzy, I wanted to try it all! So, from the beginning of our relationship we have played with many dynamics. Some of them we felt meh about and ditched. Some we got obsessed with and did for months, then slowly they fell off for other dynamics. And some we integrated into our relationship 24/7. We still explore so much in kink, and it's one of my favorite parts about our relationship! It's fun, playful, exploratory, and never gets stale.

So, in June of last year, we were exploring a brand-new kink in France on our trip to Cap D'Agde, the largest nudist resort in the world with 10 sex clubs! Actually, check out this blog here if you want to know all about that one: The Sea of Orgies: Cap D'Agde.

We were exploring servant, a free use slut who did everything that Daddy said. Yes, I call him Daddy, I guess check out this blog if you're repulsed by the Daddy phrase: Healing My daddy Issues with My Somatic Daddy. I rarely share other blogs within blogs, but this is just hilarious that so many are fitting!

So, I'm ovulating in France, we're exploring the excitement of a new kink dynamic, and we're both totally in love with it! We had SO much fun in France. But, then we got back home, and I was no longer ovulating, and the dynamic just didn't work. We tried, but my energy was no longer alive for it. I suggested, maybe this is just an ovulation kink for us. And then we laughed, and jokingly talked about how princess is definitely the bleeding part of the cycle because Daddy takes care of me then!

And then a lightbulb went off! What if there were already existing kink dynamics we have created that work perfectly for each of the 4 parts of my cycle?! A kink menstrual cycle, if you will. We began brainstorming and they all came together very easily! SP has always struggled to connect the names of each part of the cycle with what they actually mean, so this actually works on multiple levels! He understands the needs and desires of each of the kink dynamics on such a deep level, and so there's no longer any question of what his role is in each one. He's learning on such a deep level how to care for me in every part of the cycle. And we get to have so much fun doing it!

So, here's what they are and here's how they work in our relationship!

FOLLICULAR: We'll start with Follicular, which is just after bleeding ends, and leading up to ovulation. This part of the cycle typically lasts about 5 days. And here I'm puppy! I'm playful, lighthearted, silly, open, easily wet, and love licking him! This is one of SP's favorite times because it's so light and fun. My hormones are ramping up for ovulation, and I just feel alive here!

OVULATION: Next up is Ovulation! Everyone's absolute favorite! Here I'm servant. I do everything Daddy says, I'm free use, rough nipple play is encouraged, and he loves to deny me here. He gets everything he wants, and honestly, I do too because I love giving it to him! This is the part of the cycle that's also most fun to explore new things, add new dynamics, or just feel fucking on fire! We're insatiable here. However, Ovulation usually only lasts a few days, maybe up to 5. And sometimes puppy and servant kind of mix together, which they are perfectly aligned to do!

LUTEAL: Luteal comes next, and that's little bear's territory! Luteal actually lasts the longest, which is about 14 days. She's still playful, but also more needy. Less open for business all the time, and asks for more care, love, and belonging. While she is very playful usually, she's also creating a cocoon, especially in late Luteal, preparing for Menstruation. SP knows he has to take it a little easier on little bear, and give her all the snuggles! And yes, I wear my bear onesie often here!

MENSTRUATION: Finally, Menstruation, or as I like to call it, the Bleed! This starts the cycle all over again, because day 1 of Bleed is day 1 of the whole cycle. I usually bleed for about 3-5 days, with days 1-3 being the most difficult. This is princess territory! Princess gets everything she wants and is treated like a little Goddess. There are no expectations of princess, and she gets to be needy, demanding, and grumpy. Daddy gets everything she needs, including hot teas, heat packs, ibuprofen, take out, and whatever else she dreams up. But, especially snuggles and movies. Princess also usually goes lighter on working, or doesn't work at all on the days it's the worst. Princess honestly makes the Bleed so much better for me because there's no question about my needs and SP is happy to help. Plus, he gets puppy again soon after, so he's excited for the cycle to begin again every month!

DADDY: In every part of the cycle, SP stays the same role, and that's Daddy. There are many facets of Daddy, and he gets to use all of them throughout the whole cycle. This also matches with the male hormone cycle, which is a 24-hour loop, instead of about a 28-day loop. He's solid, consistent, and caring in every part of the cycle, and some of his darker sides get to come out in some of the cycles. Daddy is so universal that it works well for our dynamics.

Now, this cycle works for us, and I'm not suggesting it's for everyone! What I am inviting is that if you've developed some kink dynamics with your partner and want to keep coming back to them, it can be a great practice to create a kink cycle! This works especially well if the female partner(s) aren't on hormonal birth control, but it could work if they are as well. Other examples could include: a hunter/prey dynamic in ovulation, rope play in follicular, Goddess worship in menstrual, Daddy/little play luteal or menstruation. The list can go on and on and on though!

It's more important to find what works best for your specific cycle, partnership, and dynamics. We didn't have to create any new dynamics for this to work, but you could also play with creating all new dynamics and seeing how it goes. And all it takes is to track the cycle with either a free app or a paid one. I use Natural Cycles, because it syncs my temperature to my Oura ring, and I get really high-quality data. Plus, there's an amazing feature where you can share your cycle with your partner, so he knows exactly where we are without having to ask. But truly you can track your cycle with anything!

I love building this kind of long-term transformational play with my partner. I've never heard of other couples matching up the kink dynamics to the cycle, but I imagine we aren't the first! I really want to just encourage you to find freedom, expression, and depth in your connection to your partner(s), no matter if kink is involved or not! Play is one of the greatest indicators of long-term success in relationships! So, play!

INSPIRED ACTION: Brainstorm and have fun creating a kink cycle dynamic! Even if you're single or don't have a kinky partner, it can be a fun exercise to see what lights you up! And lots of kinks are pretty normalized now, like spanking, nurturing, hair pulling, anal, and more! So, even a "non-kinky" partner could be into some form of cycle-based play!