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  • Writer's pictureLona

Becoming the Authentic You Again: The Transformative Power of Parts Work

Lona has beomome her most authentic self using parts work!

You are a microcosm! An entire village of parts exist within you. You may think of yourself as just "you", but the truth is that your brain creates different subpersonalities and parts of you that make up the whole. There is probably a part of you that helps protect you and keep you safe, a part that is kind of a judgy bitch, a part that plans and organizes, and a part that just wants to play! All of these are you, and you are all of these. And there is also an essential authentic "you" that should be running the show. But what happens when a part starts to run the show? And how can you take back your power and create harmony between all these parts?

Well, it starts by identifying them first! A great coach or therapist will help you meet and get to know these parts. And some are very resistant to talking to you because you've hated, pushed away, or denied them for so long. In my experience, even these parts want to belong again. We all push away parts we don't like or can't handle. Some of these parts hold destructive memories or harmful experiences and the best way you knew how to cope was to push them as far away as possible so you could keep going. That's totally normal! And the process of healing involves welcoming them back in, making space for them, and helping them become harmonious in your life again. They want to help.

Even the most seemingly hateful and judgmental parts I've helped clients find eventually admit that they just want you to be happy and healthy. They are essential pieces of you that your brain created at some time or another to help protect you in some way. Many times, clients meet these parts and are so scared of them that they want to keep pushing them away. My job is to help you find acceptance and gratitude for these pieces so we can actually make them your biggest allies! Imagine turning your inner critic into your inner grandmother. Turning that well-meaning but hurtful criticism into care, direction, and forgiveness.

We do this by identifying them, starting to understand them, communicating with them, unburdening them, and finally reintegrating them! This can look millions of different ways. I don't go into this hoping to turn the critic into the grandmother. I help you find the space to let whatever happen naturally. I'm often the one most amazed at how these things transform and heal with just a little bit of guidance. And man is this hard to do on your own! Even with my advanced training in this field it's so tough to do on myself! There's a new perspective of someone else that helps break through the initial walls and ask targeted questions to unlock the relationship. But from there, it's really all the client!

That's why this coaching is such a co-creation. I do not have all the answers, nor do I want them! I have a methodology that helps you uncover the answers on your own. I know the general path; you know the answers once you get there!

And parts work is somatic work! That's because we don't rely on the logical mind! If we did, we wouldn't get very far! The logical mind is caged with expectation and analytical connections and past experiences and fawning. The body, however, doesn't lie. By going through the sensations of the body we find conscious and unconscious parts that stand in the way of your desires. This may sound impossible if you've never done it before but lead by someone who is highly trained it becomes a lot easier than you would think!

Even though you are made up of all these parts, you were not born with them. You were born as an essential "you", and all these parts came about as you grew up. So, they are all you, and there is also an essential, authentic piece in there that is most "you". This authentic piece should be the one running the show, but many of us get hijacked by these parts in the name of love, safety, and belonging.

You need to be accepted by your caregivers to survive in this world. It's life or death to belong for a child. So, if your caregivers were unattuned to your needs then you had to become attuned to theirs. This likely created a piece of you that had to take control to survive. Honestly, I'm so grateful to these pieces that had my safety in mind. But as you age, these pieces take on other less desirable roles in the name of safety, like in guiding friendships, lovers, careers, and parenting. These underdeveloped parts don't have the capacity or wisdom to do all of these jobs. But the authentic "you" does.

So, for some people parts work is about getting back to that authentic you, not the you that is just trying to survive. And not by shaming this part of you that took control for your safety, but by creating a loving relationship to this piece and helping it take on a new role in your life. Think of your soma (your body, mind, and energy) as a kingdom. And the authentic you is the Queen, King, or Royal Sovereign of your domain. In the end you are the one with the final say because you are the one in power. But a harmonious Royal would never make decisions without a trusted council. This council is all your parts that you welcome here. You listen to their advice, warning, and difficulty, but at the end of the day the authentic Royal you makes the choice. This is the ideal of parts work, creating a harmonious inner kingdom.

Sometimes that harmony is created with listening and caring. Sometimes it's created with setting boundaries and saying no. Sometimes it could be creating a safe space inside you for this part to get some peace. Sometimes the part just doesn't want to be a part anymore and transforms into something totally different. Parts work can go so many different directions, and I love that about this work! Each day I don't know where I'm headed with clients, and I do my best not to influence their inner worlds and just let the parts speak. I try to help my clients ask the questions that will create a healthy relationship, and even call in other parts to come help them when things get difficult or resistant.

I love what I do, and I love seeing the amazing results that it gets people. It is such a joy to give this kind of work. If you feel that you aren't operating from your most authentic "you", or you feel like there is some unknown thing blocking you from toe-curling pleasure, epic love, and transformative partnership, then book a Bliss Blueprint Discovery Call with me today. In this call I'll get to know your desire on a deeper level, then give you the blueprint to how my coaching methodology can help you. There's no icky sales tactics or pressure to buy, we're just discovering if this coaching aligns with you.

INSPIRED ACTION: What parts have you already identified in yourself? Maybe an inner child piece, an inner Goddess, an inner bitch or judge? Can you start with gratitude? I find this to be one of the most important steps in creating a new relationship to this piece. Can you find one single thing that you can be grateful for to this piece? See how the part reacts when you thank it. This is the start of a beautiful new relationship.


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