top of page
  • Writer's pictureLona

What Will Hold You Back in Sex Magick?

The people have spoken, and you guys are into the Sex Magick! I do feel some nerves in talking about this topic so much though! Not because I'm uncomfortable talking about sex (hahaha!) but because the place to truly start in Sex Magick is so far from the actual act! It starts in childhood, in your teens and all the way up to when you woke up this morning. It starts with conditioning and Making Space For Infinity. Let me explain.

Your sexuality started when you were born. Let's use a garden metaphor. When you were born a small chunk of dirt and weeds became your sexuality. But you weren't capable of caring for this garden on your own. Your caretakers had to do it for you. And how they took care of your garden was probably how they took care of their own. They planted what they knew, and they watered when they remembered, and they shaped it in their image. As you grew up you began to care for it yourself. But you were limited because you were conditioned to take care of this garden based on their experience. Conditioning is what determines how we feel about our sexuality and how we feel about ourselves as a sexual person.

Say your parents only wanted to teach you how to grow corn. Now your garden is crammed full of corn, and you don't know how to grow, say, poppies. You must break out of their conditioning and learn things for yourself. If you stick with corn your whole life, then you will stay in that conditioning forever.

Sex magick is so far from that corn garden, that you cannot simply plant poppies next to the corn and hope for the best. Poppies need different watering, different soil amendments, more space, and certainly not corn looming over it blocking all its light. You need to Make Space for the poppies or else they will not thrive. This is just like Sex Magick. You cannot maintain your old beliefs and conditionings about sex and hope for Sex Magick to bring you everything you've ever dreamed of. Sure, you can do the ritual, but you likely won't get the results you're hoping for.

So, how do you replant your garden? You've got to tear out the corn. Start by writing out all the beliefs you were taught about sex, even if you don't believe them anymore. It's wild how those little seeds can still affect us even when we know they are wrong. What did you parents teach you, your religion, your school, your friends? Write out as much as you can. Here's one I was taugh, "it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage". Then go through and feel each one in your body. Calm your mind first, and then say the belief out loud several times. Feel what it feels like to believe it. Allow yourself to believe it for a minute again. "It's wrong to have sex outside of marriage." Where in your body do you feel it? Allow that feelingto have neutral space to exist. Move with that feeling. Shake with it. Hold it. And let it go. Do this separately for every belief you wrote down. Once the feeling has the space to actually be felt it can finally leave your body and you can grow your poppies.

Now that you've made space you can allow new truths to enter. Truths that you want to be there. No one else gets to mess with your garden now. You're taking the reins. And once you have the reins, now you're in a much better place to do Sex Magick. Now your conditioning won't be holding you back and you can fully immerse yourself in the Magick.

INSPIRED ACTION: Try this de-conditioning experience. Really feel the feelings in your body, then move with them until they dissipate. Take note of how things have changed over the coming weeks and continue to journal about your experience.

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page